I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
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there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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