I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wish you could order shots online.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
