tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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