This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Your penis caused this!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
