O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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