You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
