i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
