no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
