New invention idea: vibrating tampons
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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