watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
