so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
