There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
