I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I bet he comes in French.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
