My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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