I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
