from now on my penis is your penis
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
