Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
