four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
