My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
