remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
