yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
