we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
