Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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