He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
