Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
All the doctor said was why
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize