i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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