If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
