i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
