She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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