so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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