My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
