I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
