you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize