I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
