omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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