he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
