Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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