i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
