he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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