I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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