He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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