My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
