Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
