was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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