so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
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Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
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you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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