how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
