I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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