I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
