The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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