You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
