Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize