He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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