Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
