can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize