Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
