he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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