I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize