LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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