Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
