is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
